personal

What do I (don’t) want to do?

Every morning, you wake up. Take out your pretty notebook and write your to-do list down (or you’re the type who did it the night before) to start a productive day. With hope to cross all the list.

We live life with endless rules and regulation. By law, religion and most of it are created by ourselves. There’s so many rules that I tend to get confused. What to do? there’s so many things to do and not to do. This giving me a headache.

So, what do you want to do?

“Stop asking people…what they ‘want to do’ and start asking them what they ‘don’t want to do’.”- Amy Poehler, Yes Please

Growing up people told me to do this and do that. Asking me what I want to do but never what I don’t want to do.

I thought of Amy Poehler’s quotes and create a list that I’m going to share. My list of things I don’t want to

I don’t want to grow up

I wish I can go to neverland and stay there for the rest of my life. Living life without rules to follow. Being young forever with freedom. But that’s just a fairytale, I still believe in.

Growing up is not fun as I thought it was when I was 6 year old. Now I’m 16 and ten years from now, I will be 26. I will be mature and responsible enough when that age come, probably. I hope.

I can’t stop myself from growing up. But at least I can pretend to not grow up. If that even make any sense. I don’t know. I just miss being a kid.

I don’t want to be a shadow.

Can I be the light? The light that shine so bright that you can’t even see your own shadow.

I think I was and still am a shadow. The thinness shadow that you can’t ever see with your naked eyes. I called her ‘invisible shadow’. The shadow who dream to be a light one day.

I’m not saying being a shadow isn’t a good thing. It’s just not enough for a girl who try to be a light in her own life.

“All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle”

I don’t want to be average

I’m pretty sure no one ever say I’m ‘average’ in my entire life. I never say I’m average. I just don’t want to be average. Cause, I still remember that quotes stated ‘being average is for the weak’ and it hit me in the head so freaking hard. That my brain started to digest those words. I believe in that statement some how. I live with those words playing in my head. With that, I don’t want to be average.

I don’t want to be compared

People compared me with others. Teacher, parents, friends and even strangers compared me. They compared me with others and for some good reasons I hate it. It’s a silly thing to do. Yet I have done it countless times. I compared myself to people I shouldn’t have. I questions almost everything. Whatever the answer to my question was, it still leave me hanging. Maybe, It’s okay to compared. It’s human nature. If you don’t, you are a robot without emotions bent on taking over the world.

“You put in dedication to things you want to do, and ignore things you don’t want to do.” -Unknown.

That was off question. So, what I want to do?

Lots.

I want to do almost everything. It could be unpredictable or unexplainable. The list will go on and on, endlessly. Maybe, your to-do list could be the similar to mine. Life is too short to not do anything. Try your best to tick off the things you can and always leave the things you don’t want to do. Cause you deserve to do anything you want and don’t want.

I want to smile everyday

A reflection from everything, I will probably still be a shadow but shadow to my own light. I’m going to create my own light to brighten my life. I will definitely grow up because that’s how life works. I will probably be compared or compared myself but I can try to limit myself from doing that. Only think positive things. Surround myself with positive vibes.

All I have to do now is to be myself. The person I deserve to be. The person I know I should and want to be. I don’t want to be anyone but myself. And that defined truly who I am.

So what don’t you want to do?

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