starving

Sweet Sixteen

‘Happy Birthday!’ I exclaimed as I woke up at 1am. It’s October first. My birthdate. I was born on October first.
 

The clock has struck midnight. While I was still snoring on my bed. I’m sixteen years old. I waited years to turn sixteen. Watching people celebrate their sixteenth birthday. I wanted to be sixteen. When I did, I felt confused at first. As I look at myself In the mirror, there’s nothing. The shape of my face is still the same. My body remained the same. Nothing is different between me today and me yesterday.

 

But I felt different inside, I don’t know how to describe this feeling. Is it mature? I’m not really sure. I still feel like I’m young to call myself mature. When you call yourself mature, you’re like accepting huge responsibility into your life without a doubt. My friends said I’m mature, sometimes. It depends on my mood. My mood is like the wind, you don’t know what’s going to hit you. I will call myself mature when I am 18 or maybe 20. For now, I’m just happy to feel this change.

 

It’s feel good to look back and realize you survived in life

 

On my sixteenth birthday, I’m here. Typing away alone late at night, hoping I have the enough energy to study for Malay paper tomorrow. I did mention I will be having my scares exam the day after my birthday.

 

 

Before that, Let me tell you everything I did on this day. I want to remember everything because I’m 16 and it’s a big deal.

 

I set my alarm at 3 am to study but unexpectedly woke up at 1 am. My body must be super excited to be 16. I washed myself up and started to study. I just really have to study. It’s my final year in high school and I don’t want to go back and do it again. That will be a nightmare.

At 6am, I opened my window to look at the sunrise. I love sunrise. It’s so fresh. In the future, on my birthdate, I will go to beach and watch the sunrise on October first but still don’t know in what year. I hope it will be soon. I think I want to write about my birthday wish list soon, maybe after the exam.

 

When there’s birthday, there’s present. I received my first birthday present yesterday from my bestie (Thank You Amal Azimah! I love you and I miss you so much) and I decided to open it early in the morning. I’d video myself unwrapping her gift, specially for my bestie. Her letter made me cry. It touch deep into my heart. It’s been 4 years of friendship with her. She’s just amazing.

 

My day was just simple. My sister came to chill with me in my room. I ate breakfast while video calling my mother with my older sister’s phone. I just had relaxing time watching YouTube on my room. I watched cupcakes Aisyah’s birthday vlog on YouTube. It just made my day. She spent her day relaxing in the spa with her cousin. I want to do that one day with a friend of mine. And I downloaded lots of games on my iPad. Yeah, yeah, it’s my exam month. I know. It’s okay to play games. I can still focus on my study.

 

Around 4pm, my family and I drove to Brunei Airport to pick up my mother who just came back from her long vacation in Jakarta, Indonesia. I have to get ready before I go outside the house. I was really tired to dress myself up. Plus, I don’t have any idea for an outfit. Birthday outfit. I just grabbed a random square scarf and ironed the white top my bestie gave me ( the birthday present above ). It felt so wrong. The top was too huge for me. The scarf was so not into me. I complained everything to my sister. My sister doesn’t even care.

 

Suddenly, when I was wearing my scarf. My sister surprised me with a jumpsuit. I almost cried. I really wanted a jumpsuit. I’m obsessed with jumpsuit. I never had one in my closet. Now I have one, there’s more to come. Be prepared my dear closet. Thank you sister!

 

There’s nothing much happened in the airport. While waiting for my mother to arrive, we had a big bite at Burger King, My choice.

 

We arrived home safe and excited to open my mother’s luggage. She bought a lot of things. One luggage for clothes and another for foods. Too much things which are not mine. I thought I will find my present in one of those luggages but I couldn’t find it. It must be somewhere, I said to myself. I thought she forgot to buy me a present. It’s okay. At least I have TV, Oh My English Level Up just started today at 6:30pm. You guys should watch it. It’s really level up!

 

My mother remember my birthday present. She bought me a hand watch. I’m very thankful for it but I don’t really want a watch. I wanted a hand watch for my 15th birthday. This year is my 16th birthday. 15th wish list and 16th wish list are two totally different. I really appreciate every presents, I really didn’t expect to get those things. This watch Is very useful because it’s exam month. You really do need a hand watch for exam. As my teacher always say, ‘Time can be your friend but sometimes it can be your enemy’

 

At night, I cried because my birthday has come to an end. I cried because I don’t have a birthday cake. I really want a birthday cake. It’s been 4 years now, I don’t celebrate my birthday with cake. You need cake on birthday. Trust me. You need cake. Speaking of cake, I want to thank Haziqah for the surprise homemade cheesecake. I really appreciate it. But that cake, doesn’t count as my birthday cake because there’s three names written on it. The cake was specially made for October girls.

 

I’m blessed to have wonderful people in my life. I’m blessed because I can spend my day with my family. I’m blessed for everything. I’m blessed. I cried today because I’m blessed. I’m so blessed. There’s people out there who don’t celebrate their birthday, who don’t celebrate birthday with their family. There’s people out there who don’t get birthday present. There’s people out there who don’t even remember their birthday. But those people are blessed to be a live. There is always things in everyone’s life to be blessed for, because everything is a blessing with or without you realizing it.

 

My sixteen year old self will lead a wonderful life.

 

I wish, hope and pray for her unpredictable journey in life. She will meet new people. Gain more thoughts. I’m just proud of her, every seconds in her life. I will always think of her. How her life turn out to be. How much she will cry and laugh and how much she will grow more. How much she will spend her time writing for you all. I hope she continue to write here and collect lots of memories to share with her future self. That is currently me, here, as a girl who just turn 16.

 

 

The sweetest thing is something simple.

 

 

 

 

 

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